Childfree woman demands husband get paternity test for 13-year-old nephew because he looks more like him than his sister: 'I have played a father-like role since he was a kid'

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    AITAH for snapping at my wife and calling her crazy because she wants me to take a paternity test for my nephew?
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    Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My wife and I have been married for 10 years and together for 14. We are childfree. I also have a nephew who's currently 13, and I'm not going to lie, he looks a lot like me and has a lot of the same facial features as me. I am really proud of him and we have a close bond. I have played a father like role in his life since he was a kid. He has a deadbeat father, and my sister divorced him long ago.
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    A couple of my family members have commented on how my nephew looks a lot like me, and while I initially thought it was wholesome, my wife for some reason became very insecure and started getting doubts. She was questioning why I needed to play such a prominent role in my nephew's life, why my nephew had autism etc. The insinuations just became weird and made me uncomfortable.
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    I do agree that my sister has played some part in my wife's insecurities because of her dry humor. During family gatherings, my sister jokes a lot about how wholesome it is that her son looks like me, and that she couldn't be happier. It's obviously a joke, but I spoke to my sister and asked if she could tone it down a bit because it was making my wife a bit crazy.
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    However, last night, my wife asked if I could take a paternity test just for her peace of mind. That's when I finally snapped and called her crazy and that marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life. I did immediately regret saying it because I meant none of it, my wife is the love of my life. But my wife got quiet, and started crying shortly after and I had to console her. Was I the AH?
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    Beginning-Lemon-4607 Your wife's new homework is Punnett squares
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    LetsGetsThisPartyOn ΝΤΑ Of course he has your genes FROM YOUR SISTER! Not from you! Jesus. Send her to a biology class
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    TheRipley78 No, therapy. For the love of dog, she needs her head examined.
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    Harvard Diplomat She thinks you had a baby with your own sister? Not your brother's wife or anything but your own sister? No, that IS crazy.
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    throwaway798319 Two full-blood siblings share about 50% of their DNA. That means the odds of OP sharing significant features with his nephew are 1 in 4 which NOT RARE
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    HarrietsDiary Seriously, I'm a copy paste of my mom's brother. I look far more like him, and act more like him, than his actual kid does. He still not my dad WTAF.
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    Suitable-Tear-6179 My eldest looks like my aunt. While I have jokingly said she used me as a surrogate, noone believes it. That would be about as crazy as thinking you had an incestuous relationship with your sister. Your sister has the same genetic pool to draw from as you did. There is no big surprise about family resemblances. NTA, but I'm not sure I could stay married to someone that distrusts me that much. To accuse you of an incestuous affair with your sister, while you were dating her....
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    Longwinded_Ogre It's ok to be mad when someone you love and trust accuses you of sleeping with your sister. NTA. You said some harsh stuff. She deserves some harsh stuff.
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    CaptainBeefy79 So, your biological nephew looks like you? Any chance that could have anything to do with shared biology? My oldest looks exactly like his moms side of the family who live on the other side of the country and who hadn't been around us for several years leading up to his conception, but maybe I should have FIL/BIL tested just to be sure because his genetics definitely couldn't have come from his mother. FFS, NTA
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    0-Ahem-0 When the gene is strong, the are freaking strong. My husband's sister looks almost exactly like her cousin. Doesn't help when they actually have the same name. Every man in the family have the same physique, and Al the brothers look so alike and I was like wow the gene is strong on this one.
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    Both-Star-8003 NTA. Does your wife have mental problems? Like seriously? No your biological nephew looks like you. Thats an INSANE accusation on her part & you have every right to be offended by it. Im a little confused on your sister's jokes though? Whats the joke? Is she just meaning shes happy he doesn't look like the deadbeat?
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    Strawberry-Patch1 He has a deadbeat father, and my sister divorced him long ago. During family gatherings, my sister jokes a lot about how wholesome it is that her son looks like me, and that she couldn't be happier. NTA These two comments you wrote makes me believe your sister finds comfort in having her child look like you and not her baby daddy. You didn't mention anything about there former relationship, but it's obviously not a good one. Also gotta ask, what person in your family do you loo
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    Comprehensive Put5569 NTA - Your wife should seek therapy to figure out why such a ludicrous idea seemed plausible enough to ask you to take a paternity test. It's your nephew! You already share DNA therefore it's not crazy for the 2 of you to look alike. Seriously, she needs help.

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